Understanding Self-Care: What It Is and What It Isn't

Do we all even know what self care is and what it isn’t? When someone tells you, “don’t forget to make time for yourself,” “do something nice for yourself today,” or “make sure you make time for self-care,” my thoughts always went to “yeah, right, sure, I don’t have time for that.

Well guess what…

Self-Care is the one thing that shouldn’t come off your list. Today, my self-care is a non-negotiable in my daily calendar. It doesn’t get taken off and I’m the first to ensure that my self-care doesn’t getting bumped to last place.

The concept of self-care has gained significant traction in recent years, with more people recognizing its value. It’s often “sold” as the antidote to stress, burnout, and overall dissatisfaction with life. However, amidst the buzz surrounding self-care, there's also confusion about what it truly entails. Is it indulgence in luxury spa treatments and lavish vacations, or is it something more profound and essential to our well-being? So let’s dive into the essence of self-care, unraveling what it is and what it isn't.

Defining Self-Care

At its core, self-care encompasses intentional actions individuals take to nurture their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. It involves recognizing one's own needs and taking steps to meet them, thus preserving and enhancing overall health and vitality. Self-care isn't a one-size-fits-all solution; it's highly personal and varies from person to person. What works for one, does not work for all and it takes some time to truly define what self-care is to you. This is where a coach may come in handy - helping you to identify what works, what doesn’t and how this can be incorporated into your daily life.

What Self-Care Isn't

1. Self-Indulgence

Self-care is often misconstrued as self-indulgence, but there's a stark difference between the two. Indulgence involves satisfying immediate desires without considering long-term consequences, whereas self-care prioritizes long-term well-being over temporary gratification. While treating yourself occasionally can be a part of self-care, it's not the sole focus.

2. Selfishness

Contrary to popular belief, practicing self-care isn't selfish. It's about ensuring you're in a healthy state to be there for others effectively. Neglecting self-care can lead to burnout, resentment, and an inability to support those around you. By prioritizing your well-being, you become better equipped to care for others with compassion and resilience. You know the ol’ saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup?” I tell this to ALL of my clients because it is so true. Try it and report back :)

3. Ignoring Responsibilities

Self-care doesn't mean shirking responsibilities or avoiding obligations. It's about finding a balance between meeting your own needs and fulfilling your commitments. Procrastination and avoidance aren't forms of self-care; they're detrimental habits that can contribute to stress and anxiety in the long run.

Understanding True Self-Care

1. Setting Boundaries (My favorite!)

A crucial aspect of self-care is setting boundaries – learning to say no when necessary and prioritizing commitments that align with your values and well-being. Boundaries protect your time, energy, and emotional health, preventing burnout and resentment.

2. Prioritizing Health

Physical health forms the foundation of self-care. This includes nourishing your body with nutritious food, staying hydrated, getting adequate sleep, and engaging in regular exercise. Prioritizing health isn't just about physical appearance but about feeling strong, energized, and capable of tackling life's challenges.

3. Nurturing Emotional Well-Being

Emotional self-care involves acknowledging and processing feelings, seeking support when needed, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment. This may include spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, journaling, or seeking therapy to address underlying issues.

4. Cultivating Mental Wellness

Mental self-care revolves around nurturing a positive mindset, managing stress effectively, and fostering mental resilience. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and cognitive-behavioral techniques can help cultivate mental clarity, focus, and emotional balance.

5. Investing in Relationships

Healthy relationships are integral to overall well-being, so nurturing meaningful connections with family, friends, and community is a vital aspect of self-care. Investing time and effort into building and maintaining relationships provides emotional support, reduces feelings of isolation, and enhances life satisfaction.

6. Practicing Self-Compassion

Self-care involves treating yourself with kindness (helloooo…kind of my thing!) and compassion, especially during times of difficulty or failure. Rather than harsh self-criticism, practicing self-compassion involves acknowledging your humanity, embracing imperfections, and offering yourself the same empathy you would extend to others. As a few great friends have told me in the past, “give yourself grace.”

Understanding self-care goes beyond surface-level indulgence; it's about cultivating a holistic approach to well-being that encompasses physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. It's not about selfishness or neglecting responsibilities but about nurturing oneself to better navigate life's challenges and fulfill one's potential. By prioritizing self-care, individuals can enhance their resilience, vitality, and overall quality of life, ultimately fostering a deeper sense of fulfillment and purpose. So, let's redefine self-care as an essential practice that honors the complexity of human needs and nurtures the essence of who we are. Tell me how you’re practicing?!